the return

I can’t even remember my last blog entry. It was ages ago. I have been debating whether or not to explain the reason for my silence, and I have decided to share the information that my husband and I lost our oldest son on December 31, 2019. It has been a long journey from then until today, but I am now able to sit down and once again write about mental health issues. Today I am finally ready to think outside of my own pain.

During the past 2 years, I paid a lot of attention to the media around me for many reasons. I found that TV shows, news articles, podcasts and interviews were discussing all phases of mental health. People were getting depressed and having anxiety from quarantining due to Covid-19. High-profile people shared their experiences with post-partum depression and other life events. People are being more honest about having depression and anxiety, openly explaining what they have done to treat it and conquer it.

The reason for the new interest in mental health issues is not at the heart of the issue. I just think it’s great that the interest has definitely increased. Wouldn’t it be nice if the stigma surrounding the mental health arena is beginning to wane? I know that I still have some shyness about raising my hand and saying “me too,” but I am getting closer to being more comfortable with acknowledging to the outside world that I have a mental disorder. But what is really cool is that within my own internal world, I know I am a perfectly normal human being who happens to be dealing with a mental disorder. It took me a long time to make peace with this element of my being, but I can even joke about my disorder now and know that it is not what defines me. There is a long list of items that define me, and an anxiety disorder is just a condition I have, not who I am. I used to think that if people knew about my anxiety disorder, they would look at me differently, and it would be the first thing that came to their minds when they saw me. Well, it might be something they think of when they think of me, but that thought would also have to trigger a long list of other characteristics. They also have to think that this woman is a strong and vibrant human being with lots to offer this world. They would have to include in that list my being a wife, mother, grandmother, sculptor, swimmer, hiker, and at the very top of the list, a happy and productive person who also has an anxiety disorder. Those are some of the qualities that define me.

For resources for help please refer to the list below.

National Alliance on Mental Illness

National Institute on Mental Health

Heads Together Mental Health


One thought on “the return

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s